Friday, April 9, 2010

a lot of ornery

i've been ornery lately.

i wonder why? habit of thought blames it on the people around me who are being stupid. but these days, i know that i am the one who is responsible first and foremost. i cannot experience ornery people unless there is orneriness within me.

yesterday i smoked salvia with a friend of mine. i really enjoyed it. when my mind got out of the way, all my body wanted to do was dance. so i got up and did this insanely good belly dance to Thievery Corporation. i was not in control. very fun :)

but then i started to come down and i asked my friend why he wasn't echoed, and he was not responding to me in a way that made sense. so i told him to stop talking.

then he took his hit, and went somewhere else, and came back and he said "did you see this and this and this and this, blah blah blah" and i was like "no..." and he was like "oh, you did it wrong."

that's what pissed me off. that he thought he was right and i was wrong just because our experiences were different.

why is that always the way people think? "my experience is this way. yours is different? vastly different, you say? oh, you must be doing it wrong."

eff that.

we all have different vantage points, and they are all equally valid. no one person can claim to have a better life than another. likewise, no one person can claim to have a worse life than another. there are all things in our experiences which are pleasing and which are unpleasant. but since nobody can jump into another's experience and understand their perspective, nobody can say what is more unpleasant or pleasant for another person.

our own perspective is the only thing we have. it is all we can really go on. it is all we should be focusing on. and since we choose the lens through which we look at our perspective (positive or negative), we don't need to fall victim to it. you observe your experience, and you make an assessment of it (either positive or negative). then, based on the assessment, you offer a response (vibrationally). then, in response to your vibration, your experience shows more and more aspects which are of the offered vibration. for example, you observe something negative, you offer a negative vibration about it, then the universe brings you more of that. and vice versa.

anyway, today is a new day with new things to see and hear and taste and touch and smell. today i am going to do my best to observe as many positive aspects as i can.


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