Tuesday, April 13, 2010

थे मोस्ट लोविंग थिंग तो गिवे

grrr that Sanskrit keeps happening! is it Sanskrit or Hindi?

anyway. the title is "the most loving thing to give"

i've been thinking about resistance. by that i mean "resistance to the flow of the universe." we all do it. the universe leads us around, and occasionally we run into things that cause us to say "hey, i don't want this, why do i have to experience this?" and we push against it, and frustratingly enough, as we push against it, it seems to get bigger and more irritating. but then we sort of intuitively figure out that it's just not worth it, and we give up. and suddenly the problem is gone. and we think "well why didn't i do that in the first place?"

but what about when we are noticing other people pushing against the flow? the more we try to tell them to relax, the less relaxed they become. "i can't relax, i've got this problem to deal with!" they say. and we try to tell them "but if you just relax, the problem will go away, i promise you!" and of course they don't believe such nonsense. so they just get more frustrated and push harder.

what i have learned about resistance is that it creates a desire within us. we experience something we don't like, and we automatically know what we want instead (even if it is not verbalized, or acknowledged, we know it on a soul level). and once that desire is birthed within, all it takes is for us to relax and let it in. when we stop pushing against what we don't want, and instead focus on what we do want, what we want is what flows into our experience.

this has been my lesson for a while, but i think i've finally come to the moral of the story. there have been so many times when i look at the people around me who are resisting their experience, and i want to tell them what i've just told you, but they aren't ready to hear it. so i talk and talk, but they just argue and resist more. and then i get frustrated because i want them to feel good, and now i'm in a place of resistance. well what i've come to understand is that the most loving thing i can do is to allow others to have their resistant moments. i have been allowed to birth desires during resistant moments, so why should i rob someone else of their opportunity to do the same? is it more loving to convince someone to be happy or is it more loving to allow that person to grow and learn in their own time and in their own way? i am sure it is the latter. everyone will figure out the trick eventually.

it reminds me of my eighth grade art class. my art teacher was an extraordinarily nice guy. but when a student was struggling with a drawing or painting, he would show them how to improve by drawing or painting right on their project. how can someone learn to draw better if the art teacher is doing it for them? i once had a different art teacher who painted on my water color painting to show me the technique, and i was so upset because it was no longer mine.

my experience is mine. it is the only thing i truly own. no one else can experience my perspective from the inside. no one can really appreciate the growth i have experienced. and likewise, i cannot jump into another person's point of view. i can't tell someone else how to do it, because i have not lived their life.

but of course, i can write these things that i have learned, and perhaps allude to lessons that my readers can learn. but i can't do it for anyone else. i can only live for me. and that is my only responsibility: to live consciously, joyously, freely, and deliberately. that is all anyone should ever take responsibility for.

but you can figure that out on your own.


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