Saturday, June 8, 2013


Somehow I found the crack.  I'm remembering.  Thank God.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

God is in the space between

Between people.  Between things.  Between moments.  Between thoughts.

It is so easy and habitual to get caught up in the constant stimulation of the mental experience.  Before you know it, life has swept you up in a whirlwind of stories and emotions.  It takes awareness and patience to practice a continual steadiness in the Between Space.  I don't think I'm entirely ready to give up the excitement of the mental whirlwind.  I'm afraid of spending too much time in the Between Space.  I'm afraid of becoming a really shitty actress if I give up on the mental drama that I experience on a near daily basis.

I'm scared to let go of this personality that I've identified with over so many years of human life.  What if the Between Space obliterates me?  What if I become some boring and empty monk-like non-functional alien, cut off from all human experience and emotion?  I would rather suffer a little bit every day than live a boring life!  I am so afraid of enlightenment being boring.

Maybe my enlightenment will be unique and interesting and exciting.  I suppose it would have to be.  I don't think God could possibly get bored.  Maybe I have a very small idea of what it is to be God in a body.  I'd like to let go of that idea, because it seems to be perpetuating unnecessary suffering and resistance.

Everything will be okay.