it's relieving to be honest with people and not allow resentment to build up. it's so important to be able to be completely, 100% honest with the ones you love. if words must constantly be minced, it creates a burden on the one mincing. because the words that are being expressed are not the ones that are floating around in the mind, constantly nagging you and telling you things you don't want to hear. it also creates stress for the person receiving minced information. on a gut level, we know when there is something that is not being said, which creates questions that we don't dare to ask. when negative thoughts and feelings are expressed in words openly and honestly between people (the goal being to resolve those feelings and turn negative to positive, not put the other person down), opportunity for growth is presented. but when those thoughts and feelings are allowed to fester within the mind, they become more and more intense, further poisoning the body and spirit. this can be very overwhelming if allowed to perpetuate, and we all know what stress does to the body.
we must all consciously practice releasing toxicity, in every area of life. let's say, for example, that someone became sick (like i did several days ago). the initial discomfort of nausea is something that this person has little trouble enduring for a while. maybe it will pass, they say. however, the discomfort does not go away, and the nausea becomes worse and worse. when this person finally has to vomit, the last thing going through his or her mind is "oh no, all of that nutrition is being lost! what if i never get it back?" it's silly, isn't it? why would anyone ever think something like that about vomit? if it needs to get out, get it out!
but for some reason, that's not how we feel about other things that are toxic to us: relationships, possessions, thoughts, emotions, etc. isn't this the excuse so many people give when they are in a toxic relationship? "they're all i have. if i leave him/her, i'll have no one left. i'll be all alone." so the relationship perpetuates, becomes more and more unhealthy, not only to the people in it, but to the people observing it.
when we can freely release those aspects of ourself and of our lives that no longer serve us, without allowing them to fester and become unhealthy, that is when we can truly be free and ALIVE!
imagine the digestive system. as i wrote in a previous post, the digestive system is a marvel of the human body. delicious, fresh food (let's say an avocado, my favorite!) is put into the mouth, and mashed up by the teeth and tongue. not only is it mashed up, but enzymes are added to it in the saliva to break it down before it even reaches the stomach. and i'm not even going to talk about the phenomenon of taste! after being chewed up, the esophagus automatically grabs it and pulls it down to the stomach, where acid breaks the food down into amino acids and molecules that nourish the body and allow for cell growth and reproduction. in the intestines, those nutrients are absorbed, along with any water. all that can be used is used, and the rest is released.
compare this system to your life. things like possessions, papers, etc, are amassed. at first all is hunky-dory, and these things seem wonderful. but then we start to attach ourselves to these things, until one day we are in our garage (or bedroom, or attic, or basement, or locker, or anywhere where we put our STUFF) and we can't believe how much crap we have! but we rationalize, as we're cleaning, that "oh, well i could use that," or "this might come in handy one day when i get time to do this project." you know you've said that to yourself, because i know i have. but that day never comes when you have enough time or enough ROOM to do whatever project you were thinking you might one day do. it's constipation! it's you trying to hold on to things that are no longer nourishing your life.
when we eat food, it passes through our system, the nutrients are taken and used, and the waste is released back to the earth. if we were to re-consume this waste, it would poison us. but that is what the bottom feeders are for: the earthworms and bacteria and other bugs that DO find nutrition in that which we consider poison. they are MADE to consume that which we cannot. and in their consumption of it, they create soil which nourishes the plants, which nourish us. that which we have released has now returned to us in a purified and consumable form.
likewise, with any relationship, possession, thought, or feeling; when we release that which no longer nourishes our spirit and body, we can rest assured that the universe will purify it for us, make it new again, and bring us a better and healthier form of whatever was released.
so, in summary: don't mince words, just tenderize them. and stop eating your own shit.