Sunday, February 20, 2011


it's been a while since i've talked about relationships. mostly because for most of my life, relationships have felt confusing at best.

well i've met someone, and i have no idea where it will lead me. i'm feeling that old familiar vibration. it feels like a cocktail of longing, timidness, quiet desperation, and complete terror. i've been carrying this vibration around with me for a long time, and i'm realizing how heavy it is. i don't want to carry this around anymore. i'm ready to give it up, and let in a new vibration.

as a human, i can't physically see the vibration or move it with my hands. but as a human, i can feel, and allow my larger, non-physical self to take care of the rest. these feelings are just Me telling myself where i pinched off my own flow of Power. in many areas, my Power blasts through me like water through a fire hose. in the area of romance, it's more like a garden hose with some kinks in it. but i'm ready for that to shift, and i'm ready to feel this as it's coming to me.

it's almost like we, as humans, romanticize the idea of being lonely. even when we are in relationships, we long to "own" something we know we can never possess. it's like we are searching for God, but we put our lover's face over the place of God, and we obsess and pine and reach, trying to feel oneness with this being outside of ourselves. and being outside of ourselves, we never find what we are looking for.

here is a prayer, for those of us who have felt this vibration and wish for freedom: may we find the strength within ourselves to accept the fullness of God's Love, even though it is so much bigger than anything we imagine we want from someone else.

i love you all.

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