life change doesn't happen magically, out of thin air. it's not like one day things are going terribly and the next day everything falls into place. the Art Of Allowing isn't about just sitting by and dreaming up a someday scenario to have it suddenly fall into your lap next week.
the Art Of Allowing is about relaxing into Who I Am Now. and knowing that Who I Am Now is a progressive unfolding. i'm further along than i was last year, and i still have much more that i want to be. i know that i will be in a vastly different place next year, even next week.
first the energy lines up within. you begin to value yourself more. you begin to appreciate the subtle inner experience. this last year has gone by without much change in my physical setting or situation. but every week i feel i have transformed so much that i feel like "a lot is going on." i've felt so busy inside, and it's taken a lot of focus and rest and patience and self-soothing. but recently i've been taking decisive action towards my goals.
a couple of main goals of mine are greater physical health and beauty, and greater wealth. now, i had been wanting to begin a regular yoga practice for a while, but i just didn't FEEL like it. and i felt a little guilty for not being more disciplined or whatever. but now i recognize that the energy wasn't lined up yet. now the energy is so lined up that not going to yoga class feels like a worse decision than going, even if i am 5 minutes late (which used to be an excuse for me not to go... "oh, i don't want to interrupt, or embarrass myself, or whatever"). my health is so worth it to me that i am determined to take action that is in alignment with that goal.
the next one is wealth. all this time, i have been wanting it to fall into my lap. i wanted to win the lottery or just somehow manifest some chunk of cash that would solve all of my problems. this is a very subtle victim vibration, because it alludes to the idea that "i can't do it through normal, entrepreneurial ways, like many of the wealthiest people have. i just want the universe to make it easy for me so i can just go on vacation." well let me tell you, winning the lottery may be fun, i don't know. but i can definitely feel that it will be so much more gratifying to really create my wealth through my own means and my own innovation and resources. and i am doing just that. my magazine, illuminatedMag, is gaining so much momentum that it just bubbles up so much excitement within me! i finally feel like this could really be a lucrative endeavor for me, one of many. and if you haven't heard of Dr. John F. Demartini, listen up, because he is one smart motherfucker. this action feels so good and strong to me right now that i don't care how crazy it sounds, i'm doing it. he says in his book How To Make One Hell of A Profit and Still Get To Heaven, that in order to demonstrate to the universe that you value yourself and believe you are worthy of material riches, PAY YOURSELF FIRST.
this seems simple, and it is ridiculously so. this is almost like tithing, but way better. since most of my inspiration comes from within, and a tithe is usually defined as 10% of your income going to the place where you receive your spiritual food (inspiration), tithing always felt a little off to me, and i practiced it on and off. but Dr. Demartini says to create a savings account, and take a portion off the top of your income every month (BEFORE you pay for anything else, including bills, employees, food, etc), and put it in this savings account. this is your "Immortality Account" and it is un-spendable to you as a human. this is GodSelf's money, and it stays in that account forever. But the amazing thing is, as we all know, money attracts more money. "the rich get richer, the poor get poorer." it's actually a Cosmic Law. so you're building this Immortality Account and it's getting bigger and bigger, and drawing more and more money to it, which means it's drawing more and more money to YOU. and the higher the percentage you put in, the faster it grows, and the more money you receive.
i've been spending the last year intending for my money vibration to raise, and for a long time it felt like nothing was happening. then i decided "fuck it! i have a low money vibration! so what? is it going to kill me? no, it's not. it's just annoying for the time being. so be it." and i accepted it. i even started saying sarcastic affirmations like "i'm never going to be rich, i'm just going to be poor forever and i'll always have to live with my dad and i'll never have nice things, etc." all the things i was worried about believing or thinking that i thought would block me from getting the money i wanted. and saying them sarcastically in my head just made me laugh, because i've come to the point where i honestly don't believe them. i even encouraged more and more sarcastic affirmations for a while and it really lightened my mood! gave me hope!
then i picked up that book and skimmed the table of contents, found a chapter called "The Spiritual Laws of Saving" and felt the hugest YES i have felt in a long time. i feel a renewed sense of enthusiasm and optimism regarding my finances. i feel empowered to create my OWN wealth! i am so excited!
another point on the breakthroughs... there is no such thing as instant gratification. the more instant it is, the less gratifying the experience. have you ever wanted an instant orgasm? or would you rather enjoy a long and sensual climb to the peak, and then a gentle glide down into a satiated lull? this point in time doesn't carry my perfectly healthy, acne-free, energy-filled body. but there is a point in time that does, and i'm lining up with it energetically first, and then by taking the inspired action that is appropriate. someday i will eat and care for my body according to my ayurvedic doshas. but not immediately. i'm not ready yet. i will be, and i'll know when the action is appropriate. until then, i'm gonna enjoy eating food that might give me indigestion.
love and many breakthroughs for you my fine fellows!