i see stubborn old leaves clinging to snow-covered branches outside my window.
their organic tethers binding them to the sleeping god that birthed them
used them to feed itself
refuses to let them be free
sometimes i wonder
if i am the leaf
or the tree.
hibernation in a hyper nation
restlessly wishing for action
anticipating spring
when i can burst forth into new life
emerging from my confining seed
blooming out in the wake of incubation
eventually succumbing to the long-needed rest
sleep.
no longer fighting the dormancy
no longer fearing the waste of frozen sunlight
loving the sweet nothingness of slumber.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
थे क़ुइक्क ब्रोव्न फोक्स जुम्प्स ओवर थे लज्य दोग
for some reason, my title decided to be in... hindi? it would be really cool to learn sanskrit.
if you have never heard of EFT, or if you have heard of it and haven't tried it, you should go try it right now. it's amazing, and just a few days of consistent tapping sessions has dramatically improved my mind. i find it so easy to clear away negative thoughts that try to peek in and settle down and make camp in my head, jabbering away at me with their incessant nonsense.
EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a system which uses tapping on certain points on the meridians (lines along which energy flows through the body, as established by acupuncture and ancient chinese medicine) combined with affirmations to reprogram the subconscious mind.
your subconscious mind consists of something like 90% of your brain activity, and it controls your bodily functions, your habits, and most of the thought patterns that you experience throughout the day. your subconscious is programmed during your early childhood. anything you pick up from the environment around you (ie your parents/authority figures/etc) is taken in and rooted into your brain's wiring. so if you have any kind of fear, like a fear of disapproval or of failure or anything else, it is likely that it was programmed into you by those around you when you were very little. fortunately, the brain is very plastic (maleable), and you can re-write your programming! and EFT is definitely the best method i've tried. other things like hypnosis are good too, but it's kinda hard to hypnotize yourself. once you learn the basics of EFT, you don't need to go to a professional. and it's free to learn.
i'm going to start making my own EFT sequences for specific blocks/fears/discomforts that i know i have:
-sex/discomfort with intimacy
-back/shoulder pain
-public speaking
-social interaction
-procrastination
-money (there are lots of videos on youtube that are about this!)
-creativity/creative inspiration
-sleep (too much, at the wrong time of day!)
yeah those are just a few. you can literally tap on ANYTHING. in the video i will show you, a man tapped away his multiple schlerosis!
loving all of you!
if you have never heard of EFT, or if you have heard of it and haven't tried it, you should go try it right now. it's amazing, and just a few days of consistent tapping sessions has dramatically improved my mind. i find it so easy to clear away negative thoughts that try to peek in and settle down and make camp in my head, jabbering away at me with their incessant nonsense.
EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a system which uses tapping on certain points on the meridians (lines along which energy flows through the body, as established by acupuncture and ancient chinese medicine) combined with affirmations to reprogram the subconscious mind.
your subconscious mind consists of something like 90% of your brain activity, and it controls your bodily functions, your habits, and most of the thought patterns that you experience throughout the day. your subconscious is programmed during your early childhood. anything you pick up from the environment around you (ie your parents/authority figures/etc) is taken in and rooted into your brain's wiring. so if you have any kind of fear, like a fear of disapproval or of failure or anything else, it is likely that it was programmed into you by those around you when you were very little. fortunately, the brain is very plastic (maleable), and you can re-write your programming! and EFT is definitely the best method i've tried. other things like hypnosis are good too, but it's kinda hard to hypnotize yourself. once you learn the basics of EFT, you don't need to go to a professional. and it's free to learn.
i'm going to start making my own EFT sequences for specific blocks/fears/discomforts that i know i have:
-sex/discomfort with intimacy
-back/shoulder pain
-public speaking
-social interaction
-procrastination
-money (there are lots of videos on youtube that are about this!)
-creativity/creative inspiration
-sleep (too much, at the wrong time of day!)
yeah those are just a few. you can literally tap on ANYTHING. in the video i will show you, a man tapped away his multiple schlerosis!
loving all of you!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
magical number 40!
it's my 40th post: perfect for the epicness of what i'm about to write.
i know what i want to do with my life. i know how to put it into words. before, it was vague. too vague for me to set as a specific goal. but now i know.
i want my whole life to be my art project. and my art is what will be the rift. all who regard it will be changed forever, and will not be able to go back to the way they once were. and none will escape its effects.
i want to create such powerfully crafted works that the very earth will forever be changed for the better. i want my work to be so controversial that it cannot be ignored.
i want my work to be the last straw that breaks the camel's back. the camel being this lifestyle of pain and suffering and destruction. this division between brethren. this mindset of lack and godly forgetfulness.
i want to do big things. enormous things.
i am starting my career today. now that i know where i'm heading, i'm ready to go.
just thought i'd let y'all know that :)
LOVE!
i know what i want to do with my life. i know how to put it into words. before, it was vague. too vague for me to set as a specific goal. but now i know.
i want my whole life to be my art project. and my art is what will be the rift. all who regard it will be changed forever, and will not be able to go back to the way they once were. and none will escape its effects.
i want to create such powerfully crafted works that the very earth will forever be changed for the better. i want my work to be so controversial that it cannot be ignored.
i want my work to be the last straw that breaks the camel's back. the camel being this lifestyle of pain and suffering and destruction. this division between brethren. this mindset of lack and godly forgetfulness.
i want to do big things. enormous things.
i am starting my career today. now that i know where i'm heading, i'm ready to go.
just thought i'd let y'all know that :)
LOVE!
Monday, February 15, 2010
be magnificent!
i am claiming my magnificence and glory, here and now, and forever more. i am a powerful and creative godbeing and i love myself. i am the best me that ever walked the face of this earth. i have expanded the universe in unique and beautiful ways, and for this i deserve everything i have ever desired. i deserve wealth. i deserve beautiful experience. i deserve love from all directions, in every form i could ever ask for.
it is important that i claim these things, each and every day. you should do the same. claim your worth.
i really don't know what to write about. i feel like this has been a time of absorbing and learning for me, rather than spouting truth. you'll have to forgive me in this time of transformation. on the surface my life appears to be stagnant... but it's really a necessary period of rest and re-programming, in preparation for the upcoming adventures of the spring and summer. i'm excited for these adventures to come! and sometimes i wish they would hurry up and get here... but i am coming to realize more and more every day the value of this period of time. i am living for free right now. i have a room of my own and a SUPER comfortable bed, which i don't have to pay for. i have access to food all day every day, which i don't have to pay for. i have luxuries that many people in this world will never have the fortune to experience. and it's winter, so nothing is going on anyway! therefore, i get to hibernate and really use this time to rest my body and my mind and my heart and my soul. i have zero responsibilities, no obligations to anyone but myself and my vibration. i'm so lucky to have this vacation! i fought it tooth and nail, complaining of boredom and restlessness... worrying about not having money or a job. how silly of me! there's nothing to complain about! i am in an ideal situation right now for what needs to be experienced in my life. i needed to settle down for a minute, get my bearings, screw my head on straight, develop constructive habits (like meditating, and talking to myself HAHA!). i needed to hunker down and sleep off the whirlwind that has been my life for so long.
wow. after typing that, i realize how very true it is. i haven't had a period of rest in my life in a very long time. not since i was a kid. ever since high school it's been homework homework homework, follow rules, listen to other people's orders, be here on time, wake up at this time, go here at that time, do this because i told you to, do that because otherwise you'll fail. i'm really glad i can just sit, and be, and feel. i have absolutely nothing that i have to do. it took a minute to get used to that, but i'm really liking it! and when spring is here it will feel so good to thaw out and ease back into life with new vigor and excitement!
i love typing, because things really flow out of me that wouldn't flow if i was writing by hand. i can type much faster than i can write. funny enough, when i first had to learn how to type in school i hated it and i thought i would never learn. then i got instant messenger, and i learned so quickly! i never really did click with conventional school. it was all so ridiculous. in the beginning it was way too easy and i aced everything and didn't learn. then i got to high school and we actually had to do work, and i wasn't used to it. and i knew everything, and was smarter than most kids in grades above me. but i didn't like to do homework. and if i didn't understand the way something was taught, i just tuned it out and didn't get it. like math. math is awesome, and i understand it really well if it is taught to me in a way that i can understand. such is the way with a lot of things. like typing. now i'm really good at typing, better than my parents. i almost never have type-o's.
i'm so great! i'm so great! lol.
no for real, i'm pretty great. thank goodness for that.
ok, now i'm just getting goofy. it's 5:07am and i'm only awake because i woke up from a nightmare at 2. there was a dead boar on the street in front of the bus i had just gotten off. i went across the street, and suddenly the boar was coming after me. when i woke up, the last thought in my mind was "i was becoming the boar."
i don't quite know what it means.
anyway, hope all y'all had a happy valentine's day. or as my good friend says, happy "singles awareness day."
lol.
LOVE!
it is important that i claim these things, each and every day. you should do the same. claim your worth.
i really don't know what to write about. i feel like this has been a time of absorbing and learning for me, rather than spouting truth. you'll have to forgive me in this time of transformation. on the surface my life appears to be stagnant... but it's really a necessary period of rest and re-programming, in preparation for the upcoming adventures of the spring and summer. i'm excited for these adventures to come! and sometimes i wish they would hurry up and get here... but i am coming to realize more and more every day the value of this period of time. i am living for free right now. i have a room of my own and a SUPER comfortable bed, which i don't have to pay for. i have access to food all day every day, which i don't have to pay for. i have luxuries that many people in this world will never have the fortune to experience. and it's winter, so nothing is going on anyway! therefore, i get to hibernate and really use this time to rest my body and my mind and my heart and my soul. i have zero responsibilities, no obligations to anyone but myself and my vibration. i'm so lucky to have this vacation! i fought it tooth and nail, complaining of boredom and restlessness... worrying about not having money or a job. how silly of me! there's nothing to complain about! i am in an ideal situation right now for what needs to be experienced in my life. i needed to settle down for a minute, get my bearings, screw my head on straight, develop constructive habits (like meditating, and talking to myself HAHA!). i needed to hunker down and sleep off the whirlwind that has been my life for so long.
wow. after typing that, i realize how very true it is. i haven't had a period of rest in my life in a very long time. not since i was a kid. ever since high school it's been homework homework homework, follow rules, listen to other people's orders, be here on time, wake up at this time, go here at that time, do this because i told you to, do that because otherwise you'll fail. i'm really glad i can just sit, and be, and feel. i have absolutely nothing that i have to do. it took a minute to get used to that, but i'm really liking it! and when spring is here it will feel so good to thaw out and ease back into life with new vigor and excitement!
i love typing, because things really flow out of me that wouldn't flow if i was writing by hand. i can type much faster than i can write. funny enough, when i first had to learn how to type in school i hated it and i thought i would never learn. then i got instant messenger, and i learned so quickly! i never really did click with conventional school. it was all so ridiculous. in the beginning it was way too easy and i aced everything and didn't learn. then i got to high school and we actually had to do work, and i wasn't used to it. and i knew everything, and was smarter than most kids in grades above me. but i didn't like to do homework. and if i didn't understand the way something was taught, i just tuned it out and didn't get it. like math. math is awesome, and i understand it really well if it is taught to me in a way that i can understand. such is the way with a lot of things. like typing. now i'm really good at typing, better than my parents. i almost never have type-o's.
i'm so great! i'm so great! lol.
no for real, i'm pretty great. thank goodness for that.
ok, now i'm just getting goofy. it's 5:07am and i'm only awake because i woke up from a nightmare at 2. there was a dead boar on the street in front of the bus i had just gotten off. i went across the street, and suddenly the boar was coming after me. when i woke up, the last thought in my mind was "i was becoming the boar."
i don't quite know what it means.
anyway, hope all y'all had a happy valentine's day. or as my good friend says, happy "singles awareness day."
lol.
LOVE!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
without me, Source could not express in the exact way that i am expressing, so i am just as important as Source that is non physical.
and others' good qualities are Source, (which is Me) reflecting myself back to me. telling me how great i really am.
there is nothing in my outer reality which does not reflect a vibration in my inner reality.
i am important in the equation, and i am the only person who should be focused on by me... that is, i am the only one i can control, and therefore monitoring my vibration is more important than regarding the vibration of others(good or bad)
and others' good qualities are Source, (which is Me) reflecting myself back to me. telling me how great i really am.
there is nothing in my outer reality which does not reflect a vibration in my inner reality.
i am important in the equation, and i am the only person who should be focused on by me... that is, i am the only one i can control, and therefore monitoring my vibration is more important than regarding the vibration of others(good or bad)
finding the balance
so my latest lesson is in finding the balance between selfishness and selflessness.
it is important to be selfish in this way: every single human being has access to all of the wealth and opportunity and excitement that Source has to offer. nobody needs to give up their fortune in order for others to be able to have some. the universe is so abundant that everyone can have HUGE amounts of prosperity and joy. therefore, being excited and thankful for one's wealth, and selfishly maintaining a vibration which matches that of wealth, is important!
but if you expect the universe to bless you with your "veritable fortune" as Abraham-Hicks says, then you need to offer a vibration of givingness rather than takingness.
there's a difference between receiving the gifts of the universe, and trying to take from the universe. it's a subtle difference, but it's quite clear. and i think what i've been doing a lot is taking. i can feel the vibration of manipulation within me. i can recognize when i'm making a point to let the people around me know that i hope to receive something. i don't think this is how it's supposed to work! i'm pretty sure that when the universe gives, it gives freely and not because i have to try and get it out of my friends or relatives.
i realized this after receiving the second scam in two weeks. i got a letter saying i had won $250,000, and a check for $4900+ which was meant to pay for taxes. i took it to the bank and asked if it was for real, and they told me it was not. but i'd been so excited! for a second i glimpsed the potential of having a fortune which i could tap into at any time, which would allow me to do EVERYTHING i've been wanting to do.
i'm still trusting that the universe is gonna pull through and surprise me with something grand. everything always works out like that. it's the rushing and the impatience that blocks things up. manifestations take time. so i'm quite sure that by the time bonnaroo rolls around (have you seen the lineup??? it's AWESOME!), the money i've been wishing for will have manifested. i'm so thankful for the universe and it's cleverness. i'm probably going to make madd bank in some crazy way that i can't even imagine. i'm stoked to find out what that will be!
so i was looking on craigslist at nanny jobs. one post wasn't even offering monetary compensation, just a room. i realized that i'm living at my parents' house for free, and i might as well be making an effort to clean up around the place. if i was working or staying at someone else's house, i would feel compelled to clean up just because. and i like cleaning. i don't know what it is about being at my house that makes me forget how much i love cleaning other people's houses. why not pretend i'm at someone else's place and just clean? or just pretend that i'm at my own house and it is my responsibility to clean my own place. that way, i'm offering a vibration of "being-at-my-own-place-ness," which (according to the law of attraction, which is always in place) HAS to be matched by a situation in which i am actually at my own place.
i love the way things work in this universe. and i'm so excited to be learning how to master myself and use the Laws to my advantage.
if you haven't checked out Abraham-Hicks, pleez do so! there's a post below that has a clip in it :)
LOVE!
PS. i'm really proud of myself for having figured out this lesson! i think i've been manipulating people for most of my life! it's awesome that i've just recognized that within myself and now understand how to take action to change that for the better! YES!
it is important to be selfish in this way: every single human being has access to all of the wealth and opportunity and excitement that Source has to offer. nobody needs to give up their fortune in order for others to be able to have some. the universe is so abundant that everyone can have HUGE amounts of prosperity and joy. therefore, being excited and thankful for one's wealth, and selfishly maintaining a vibration which matches that of wealth, is important!
but if you expect the universe to bless you with your "veritable fortune" as Abraham-Hicks says, then you need to offer a vibration of givingness rather than takingness.
there's a difference between receiving the gifts of the universe, and trying to take from the universe. it's a subtle difference, but it's quite clear. and i think what i've been doing a lot is taking. i can feel the vibration of manipulation within me. i can recognize when i'm making a point to let the people around me know that i hope to receive something. i don't think this is how it's supposed to work! i'm pretty sure that when the universe gives, it gives freely and not because i have to try and get it out of my friends or relatives.
i realized this after receiving the second scam in two weeks. i got a letter saying i had won $250,000, and a check for $4900+ which was meant to pay for taxes. i took it to the bank and asked if it was for real, and they told me it was not. but i'd been so excited! for a second i glimpsed the potential of having a fortune which i could tap into at any time, which would allow me to do EVERYTHING i've been wanting to do.
i'm still trusting that the universe is gonna pull through and surprise me with something grand. everything always works out like that. it's the rushing and the impatience that blocks things up. manifestations take time. so i'm quite sure that by the time bonnaroo rolls around (have you seen the lineup??? it's AWESOME!), the money i've been wishing for will have manifested. i'm so thankful for the universe and it's cleverness. i'm probably going to make madd bank in some crazy way that i can't even imagine. i'm stoked to find out what that will be!
so i was looking on craigslist at nanny jobs. one post wasn't even offering monetary compensation, just a room. i realized that i'm living at my parents' house for free, and i might as well be making an effort to clean up around the place. if i was working or staying at someone else's house, i would feel compelled to clean up just because. and i like cleaning. i don't know what it is about being at my house that makes me forget how much i love cleaning other people's houses. why not pretend i'm at someone else's place and just clean? or just pretend that i'm at my own house and it is my responsibility to clean my own place. that way, i'm offering a vibration of "being-at-my-own-place-ness," which (according to the law of attraction, which is always in place) HAS to be matched by a situation in which i am actually at my own place.
i love the way things work in this universe. and i'm so excited to be learning how to master myself and use the Laws to my advantage.
if you haven't checked out Abraham-Hicks, pleez do so! there's a post below that has a clip in it :)
LOVE!
PS. i'm really proud of myself for having figured out this lesson! i think i've been manipulating people for most of my life! it's awesome that i've just recognized that within myself and now understand how to take action to change that for the better! YES!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
a brief update?
life is awesome.
the day before yesterday, i set my intention for yesterday to contain serendipitous encounters. well, it sure did!
i went to see a show at a bar downtown, and i ended up meeting two people whom i had met this summer and haven't seen since. both of these guys are aquarius. and they happen to be best friends with each other! one guy i met in the lot after a phish show. the other guy i met in a bar in my town. how weird, right? i love it! the universe always sneaks up on me, even when my requests are answered. i ask for something, and the universe comes up with the most surprising way of giving it to me!
so today is superbowl sunday, and i'm going to my first ever superbowl party! yay! i'm a gwown up now!
i don't pay much attention to sports. at least, not watching them. how boring, to watch sports being played on television rather than to just do them yourself. but that's just me. i like running around and playing, and if i'm sitting down to watch a box of light, i'd like to learn something from it rather than just numb my mind.
i love my life and all the people in it! i know so many people! i've passed through so many tribes of kids so far in my incarnation. i'm excited to create my own tribe.
tonight is gonna be fun! i'm gonna meet and interact with lots of awesome people and it feels soooooo goooooood!
LOVE!
the day before yesterday, i set my intention for yesterday to contain serendipitous encounters. well, it sure did!
i went to see a show at a bar downtown, and i ended up meeting two people whom i had met this summer and haven't seen since. both of these guys are aquarius. and they happen to be best friends with each other! one guy i met in the lot after a phish show. the other guy i met in a bar in my town. how weird, right? i love it! the universe always sneaks up on me, even when my requests are answered. i ask for something, and the universe comes up with the most surprising way of giving it to me!
so today is superbowl sunday, and i'm going to my first ever superbowl party! yay! i'm a gwown up now!
i don't pay much attention to sports. at least, not watching them. how boring, to watch sports being played on television rather than to just do them yourself. but that's just me. i like running around and playing, and if i'm sitting down to watch a box of light, i'd like to learn something from it rather than just numb my mind.
i love my life and all the people in it! i know so many people! i've passed through so many tribes of kids so far in my incarnation. i'm excited to create my own tribe.
tonight is gonna be fun! i'm gonna meet and interact with lots of awesome people and it feels soooooo goooooood!
LOVE!
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